Four Weeks after Brain Surgery

I want to preface this blog post by saying everyone has issues. During the last few weeks, I talked with many of you who have illnesses, problems, and medical concerns. I feel for you all, and by talking about myself here, I’m not trying to take anything away from anyone. The reason for this blog post is to help others understand that aneurysms are real and they can and will affect people in different ways.

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It’s now been nearly four weeks after a surgeon went into my brain and put a stent in the back of my head to divert the flow away from an aneurysm that was located in a bad place, between two arteries, and was misshaped.

The headaches I have been experiencing are starting to go away, and I’m starting to get back to training again. The only negative is that I have a hard time concentrating or staying on point over a certain amount of time. But I’m sure that will also improve.

Training

Before surgery, I ensured that I was in good physical shape. I know how much that impacts recovery. Having a hiccup in Key West at the triathlon, I skidded out and hit my head, not once but twice. I had never been that bruised up in my entire life. That incident set me back. But I was determined.

The Surgery

As you know, the surgery took four hours to complete. My surgeon was very thorough and made sure that the stent was properly placed. I was in ICU overnight and then once I was home, I felt more comfortable.

My Sister Saved My Life

last mass family photo
This was the last photo of the Mass family, taken in 2012.

My sister, Lori, was a nurse. She was a beautiful person. Having her share of flaws, but who doesn’t, I know if she had lived, she would have told me to get this surgery.

She passed away nearly six years ago from a brain aneurysm that ruptured. Although her family and I did everything we could to try to save her, by the time they found her, it was too late.

My biggest complaint was that the doctors told her it was nothing. She had a headache for a whole week, went to the ER three times and the morning she collapsed, she went to a neurologist in Plainview. She was in a coma for three weeks before she passed, only a few days after her 60 birthday.

Everyone kept telling me that my sister saved my life. I actually can believe that because I know that if she couldn’t save her own life, then she would do anything and everything possible to save mine.

However, the thought that she passed and I lived, still makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable. As much as I’ve been going to therapy, I don’t think I will ever be able to deal with her death. It didn’t have to happen if she had the right doctors and it didn’t have to happen if those doctors actually listened to her.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Day after surgery

I still have PTSD. My dreams focus on processing what happened to Lori and what happened to me during surgery, I’ve been having panic attacks. I really thought this was it for me. So when I came out of surgery instead of kissing the ground, I felt a sense of anger that stayed with me in the week or so that followed. That anger turned into depression. And now, three weeks later, I’m realizing that I am blessed and I am truly grateful.

Surgeon Visit Cleared Me

Last week, I went back to the surgeon for a follow up visit. He showed me films of the aneurysm and how the stent is working to divert the flow of blood away from the aneurysm and a small piece of an artery in my head. He explained that because of the location, the shape of it, and my family history (my grandfather also died of an aneurysm), it was a good thing I took care of it.

The thought had crossed my mind many times – “should I get this done?”

He also told me that my headaches were caused by the aneurysm and the artery dying. It made me feel better that I wasn’t going crazy.

Getting back

Hilary in pool

I signed up to be in a support group at The Bee Foundation. They raise money for aneurysm awareness and provide grants to surgeons doing research in the area. The executive director, Erin, had a cousin of only 27 who passed away from a ruptured aneurysm and she and her sister set this up to prevent this happening in other families.

I’ve also been getting a tremendous amount of support from one of their board members, Trish. She’s been absolutely wonderful throughout the process. She’s definitely been a mentor to me. She had a ruptured aneurysm like Lori, but she was lucky and survived it. She is my hero.

Back to Exercise and Work

Although I was supposed to rest, I had a very hard time, so I continued answering emails, writing blogs, posting to social, and responding to clients. I didn’t take a day off.

After the surgeon cleared me for exercise, I went to the pool and swam for 700 yards, which for me, was very little. But, every day, I’ve been trying to build back up to where I was pre-surgery. I’ve been cycling on the trainer and doing strength training as well.

I tried to run the other day but was unsuccessful. But that’s not going to stop me either. I will return to running.

During this whole thing, I signed up for a marathon swim in Michigan with Epic Races and a half-iron Aquabike in Montauk with EventPowerLI.

I will get back. I’m determined. And, if you have an injury, illness, or whatever, you can get back too. It’s all in the mindset. We got this!