On Having a Bittersweet Birthday

bittersweet birthday

And, speaking about birthdays and birthday love, as many of you know, I share a birthday with my sister. My mother’s birthday is the day after our birthdays. Both my mother and my sister passed away. And, now, I’m left holding the birthday alone.

50+ years

For more than 50 plus years, I shared a birthday with these two amazing women. My mother is gone almost nine years and my sister, three years.

Every year on their birthdays, I light a candle. And, believe me, I think of them both every day.

The last few years, I was feeling unhappy, sad, and depressed on my birthday. But I decided this year, I’m not going to do that again. It’s my birthday too, right? Shouldn’t I have a special birthday?

Bittersweet birthday

The other day, two people texted me on my birthday. Instead of saying, Happy birthday, they both said “we know this is a bittersweet birthday for you.”

Bittersweet? Why? Because my mother and my sister were born on the same day and now they are gone?

I almost felt as if their birthday wishes weren’t wishes at all but something more negative. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. It almost felt as if I weren’t allowed to have a nice birthday because these two women were gone.

Well, that makes me feel sad that people think that because you know what? Like you, I am special and should be celebrated.

Celebrating the dead

I think we put too much emphasis on people who died. I mean we almost glamorize them in a way that was never quite celebrated in real life.

Why don’t we celebrate people who are alive?

Why don’t we tell them we appreciate them and are grateful that they are with us at that moment?

Why is it that after they are gone, they become something different?

I don’t really understand it because once they are gone, they will never know how you felt.

So what should we do?

Instead of thinking that a birthday is bittersweet, think of it as a celebration of life. That’s what it is. Appreciate the people that you love in your life right now. Because now is the time to tell people how much they mean to you, it doesn’t work after they are gone.

And, on that note, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you. Thank you for following my blog and thank you for your love and support!